Hello LBKK readers!
I pray that 2022 has been good to you so far.
I recently celebrated a milestone birthday and it made me reflect a lot on how much I’ve grown, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, over the the last decade.
For the past few months, I was inspired to make notes on the lessons I’ve learnt over the years as I went about my days.
So I thought… why not share some of them here.
1. Comparison kills
I spent most of my life being unhappy with myself in many ways. As a child, I always wanted to be like other people who I thought were the ideal. But wanting to be like someone else caused self neglect, lack of confidence and dissatisfaction with my life.
Fast forward to young adulthood. I became very impatient with my pace and unhappy with my path in life. I would get so frustrated wondering why everything was so difficult for me and why things couldn’t work out for me like it seemed to for everyone else… When the whole time I was being groomed and protected from my own desires which had they come to pass when I wanted them to might have destroyed me.
I’ve learnt to keep my eyes on my own path while celebrating the milestones of those around me without becoming impatient with my own pace.
2. Age ain’t nothing but a number
I used to be one of those people who believed that it was not possible to have any sort of relationship with anyone younger than I was. As far as I was concerned, younger = immature and I refused to believe otherwise. Where as this can definitely be the case, it is not always true.
Fast forward to a few years ago, I was forced into situations where I was literally surrounded by people who were younger than I was. It wasn’t until then that I realized that age has absolutely nothing to do with maturity. Some of the best people I’ve met to date are younger than I am and you can’t even tell the difference because we speak the same language and have similar life experiences.
I’ve learnt to embrace everyone and to get to know people for who they are to the point where questioning their age isn’t the first thing that crosses my mind anymore. As long as we connect, older or younger, it shouldn’t really matter.
3. Your timing is your timing
There’s no such thing as the perfect time for anything. I had my life planned out to the “T” from a very early age. According to that plan, I should have been a doctor since 23, married at 25, had my first child at 27 and my second child would turn 1 this year. But this is obviously not my reality.
To everyone on the outside looking in, it seemed like I took the long route in life. But I can tell you that as much as it took me longer, with lots of failures and disappointments that kept me on my toes, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am on the perfect path at the perfect time for me.
Remember, you are exactly where you need to be right now. Get rid of the timelines!
4. God fiercely protects His children
If you are a believer, you know that God doesn’t play about His children. Some might call me crazy because my choices and decisions are unconventional but they are led by my personal convictions which are based on my relationship with God.
I could be driving on the road using the same route that I take to work everyday and if the Holy Spirit tells me to turn left instead of right, as I usually do, I will do it without question (most of the times lol). Why? because like all relationships, trust is built over time by getting to know someone.
I can tell you without reservation that I learnt to trust God because I disobeyed Him many times and had many regrets as a result. Why? because I did not trust him. Trust starts with the simplest things first and it is a two way street. When God sees that we can obey Him even with the simplest of things, He will start to trust us with the big stuff. And in turn, if we trust that God will come through for us with the smallest requests, we can trust him to come through with the big things.
Many times when things seem to be taking too long or not going as planned, it could be because we haven’t passed the trust test as yet. It’s not that God is punishing you, it may simply be because He’s protecting you… quite often from yourself. Trusting God does not eliminate disappointment. You will be disappointed but it will be easier to process because you know that He has your best interest at heart.
God will protect you from anything that He knows that you cannot handle at a certain time. When God knows that He can trust you, and that you trust Him, doors that seemed like they would never open will start to unlock without having to fight for it.
5. People criticize what they don’t have the capacity to understand
This can apply to anything really, but I learnt this lesson while on my journey to find God for myself. I did not grow up in a traditional Christian home. I decided that I wanted to get saved and baptised on my own at age 15. At age 22, I started to question a lot of things I saw in the church and even why I could never feel like I belonged. My discomfort and curiosity led me to slowly withdraw. I was doing a lot of church activities but not growing.
As I went on my own personal journey to discover who God truly is for myself, I started to notice things that I could not tolerate anymore just for the sake of it. I always held on to my relationship with God but Honestly, I don’t even think I knew Him for real before then. I learnt to value relationship over religion. In the process, my relationship with God grew stronger, I found my family, started to discover my purpose and I’m on a mission to help change the world.
6. People can have more than you and still be jealous
It’s true… people can have everything to their comfort and still be jealous of you. Not necessarily because of anything you may have physically that they don’t, but because your light shines so bright that it shows up their darkness. What they hate in you is probably missing in them… Keep shining anyways!
7. Get to know people for yourself
Don’t get into the habit of judging someone based on what someone else told you. Yes, please do proceed with caution and use wisdom… but don’t judge anyone prematurely just because.
“They” may have been toxic for “them” but could possibly be a blessing to you.
8. When people show you who they are, believe them.
This applies to both platonic and romantic relationships…
Many times you will get the answers to your questions if you listen and pay attention. The problem is that we usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt and choose to ignore what they’ve clearly disclosed in the first place. Whether through words or actions.
Don’t break your own heart by choosing to ignore the answers you asked for right in front of you.
To be continued…
Love & Blessings