A successful relationship of any type is marked by safety. Vulnerability and transparency are birthed when one feels safe.
In my post titled Covenant Relationships, I spoke about what true relationship as a Believer (in Jesus Christ) should look like but recently I’ve been delving deeper.
It is a fact that just because 2 individuals are Believers, doesn’t mean that they are meant to be in covenant. Yes, the foundation of a covenant relationship is a shared belief system, but even more important is safety.
True covenant relationships are safe spaces.
The foundation of a safe space is trust. Trust is a key that can unlock doors in people that they would normally deny access to.
The unfortunate thing about trust is that it takes time to earn but only seconds to break. Earning trust itself requires vulnerability but whether or not a person can be trusted is determined by one’s ability to discern correctly. But, like anything in life, we sometimes get it wrong.
I recently finished a book titled “Relational Intelligence” by Dr. Darius Daniels which has really challenged me to re-assess all my relationships.
Relational intelligence informs us on how to categorise each person in our lives and sometimes that requires shifting people from one category to another. The category a person falls in determines the access that they can have.
An assignment doesn’t have the same access as an acquaintance and an acquaintance doesn’t have the same access as a friend. Problems arise when we don’t know who to give access to what. An assignment will abuse the access that really should have been reserved for a friend. And that abuse is also evident when we mis-categorise people.
It’s okay to learn from mistakes and re-categorise appropriately. Sometimes this needs to be communicated and sometimes simply actions will speak.
Safe spaces are earned, not automatic. The actions and responses of the people in our lives will tell you who is safe and who is not. Pay attention and discern accordingly.
Love & Blessings.